Welcome Baby Holden!

I haven't been able to post anything for quite sometime now because my computer crashed, but I have figured out how to post from my phone now. The last few months have been quite exciting. We had a great fun filled summer. Emmaleigh learned how to ride her bike without training wheels, Addy made progress in learning her numbers and letters, and Landyn is now completely potty trained. Everyone is enjoying school and doing well. At the end of August Landyn fell into a campfire and was flown by helicopter to Indianapolis, where he spent five days on Riley's burn unit. Fortunately his burns were not too severe and he did not have to have any skin grafts and is completely healed. Emmaleigh celebrated her seventh birthday and Landyn his third. My pregnancy went well for the most part but my doctor decided to do an amniocentesis at 37 weeks to check to see if baby Holden's lungs were mature. He did not look so good on he monitor after the teat so as soon as the results came back good two hours later my doctor sent me straight to the hospital so that he could induce me first thing the next morning.
At 1:02 p.m. on September 22, we welcomed Holden Thomas Snell into the world. He was what the doctor called a "moose" weighing in at 8 lbs 14 oz. Just a half hour he was born he was taken to the NICU where he would spend the next week. It took most of that time to get his blood sugars to stabilize and he had to spend a few days on oxygen and of course he became jaundiced and had to spend a couple days in the "tanning bed" as we explained it to the kids. There were a few days where it was frustrating and exhausting, but only because we were ready for him to be home so we could settle into our new routine, but we are so happy that he is here now and he is healthy.
He doesn't really look like the other kids. He has a full head of blonde hair (all the others had darker hair). Sometimes I wonder if that's a God thing because he shows no resemblance to Hudson.

We Are Having A........

Boy! I went to the doctor today and they did an ultrasound. Everything looked good but he was wiggling around quite a bit so they are going to do another one at 28 weeks (I am 18 weeks 1 day) just to make sure they did not miss anything. It was great to see him moving around...pretty soon these little flutters I feel will become full fleged kicks and punches.
I have many more doctor's appointments and ultrasounds ahead of me but I wouldn't ask for it any other way. It is hard to believe that I am already half way there!
We have decided on a name...it was much easier to come up with a boy's name this time around...not really sure why though.

So around October 11, 2011 we will welcome Holden Thomas Snell into the family!

15 weeks, 5 months, and 7 years

I am 15 weeks pregnant today and I had a doctor's appointment on friday. Everything went well and baby looks good. This baby I have learned is either stubborn or just likes its picture taken. The doctor could not find the baby's heartbeat with the doppler in the exam room which I am sure you can imagine how frightening it was for me. He decided not to stress me out and took me to get an ultrasound done. He still had a hard time finding baby's heartbeat but baby was wiggling around. At last there it was plugging away at 164, a strong healthy heartbeat. (big sigh of relief) My next appointment is May 11th and they will do my mid pregnancy ultrasound....will it be a boy or a girl? I will be taking a poll a few days before my appointment. No prize just the satisfaction of knowing you are right.

Today is baby Hudson's five month birthday. Another month has come and gone. I am constantly thinking about what he would be doing now. Would he be rolling over, almost crawling, have any teeth? When I told Addy about the new baby she asked if it was baby Hudson. It is hard for her to understand that this is a different baby in mommy's belly.

7 years ago today my husband and I got married. Even though things are rough between us right now I still love him and think of today as a special day. We did spend some time together this afternoon and it was good. We got along well.

Today was full of special memories and I wouldn't change any of them, they have made me who I am and are shaping me into what I will become

The Rainbow After The Storm

O.K. so I guess I have kept this from my blogging friends long enough, although I am thinking that maybe I should have shared this before I shared my other news, but thats ok. Hudson, along with Emmaleigh, Addyson, and Landyn, is going to be a big brother. Our little "rainbow" is expected to arrive in late september or early october.
This is not the ideal situation for me right now but I am going with it. As expected there is some anxiety going into this and I have already been having some very realistic dreams about how things go wrong. My doctor, however, is determined to help set my mind (and probably his) at ease throughout this pregnancy. I am currently at the end of my first trimester. (13 weeks tomorrow) Once I get to 24 weeks he will start seeing me every two weeks and when I get to 32 weeks I have decided to just set up camp at the doctor's office. He will see me every week and I will have nonstress tests and ultrasounds 2 times a week.
The above ultrasound was done almost two weeks ago at 11 1/2 weeks.

Four Months Stronger

I realize it has been almost a month since my last post. It is not because I haven't had anything to post, but more so that I haven't wanted to write about what has been going on. Telling everyone about it means that it is real, and I didn't want it to be real. Now I have learned to accept that my situation is what it is and I have to make the best of it. By now I am sure you are wondering what exactly is my situation.
A couple months ago my husband informed me that he was considering filing for divorce. After talking with some friends and people from church, he agreed to try counseling together but never followed through. Three weeks ago he found his own apartment and moved out. It has been quite the roller coaster ride but I am thankful to have friends and family to help me get through.
The weather has been beautiful the last week and last Thursday Addy,Landyn and I made a trip to the cemetery to visit baby Hudson. I can't believe it has been four months. The nice weather has also stirred up everyone's allergies. I had some kind of sinus thing going on this weekend and Emmaleigh now has viral bronchitis. Landyn is also getting over some kind of cold thing. What a way to start off spring break.

The Bug!

Over the last week our house has been hit with various forms of the sick bug. Emmaleigh started off with Influenza B, followed by Addy with Strep Throat, and now today Landyn has Strep Throat. I think that Landyn has had it worse. His fever spiked to over 104 and is still having trouble keeping much down. He is so puny and pathetic.
For many reasons I am praying that this sickness skips over me. Aside from the simple fact that it is just no fun being sick, I really don't have time for it. Lucky for me though, strep throat tends to be my specialty.
The girls are continuing to do well in their new schools, but after some discussion with Addy's speech therapist and her preschool teacher, we have decided that it will be benificial for Addy to have another year of preschool before starting kindergarten. While she has made significant progress in the last couple months, she still is just not ready. It is also time to start thinking about sending Landyn to preschool next year.
We signed Emmaleigh up for softball last weekend and she is so excited about it. She can't wait until it actually begins. She also informed me she wants to do cheerleading and play soccer. I can see where this is headed. Since poor Addy doesn't have the coordination to play softball we are trying to find another activity for her. It seems as though she takes after her daddy and has taken to swimming quite well so that is probably the route we will pursue. Landyn is in love with any sport that involves a ball and has quite an arm on him. Fortunately I still have a couple years on him.
Now that I have a new keyboard that is not missing keys I am hoping to udate more often. (O.K. so maybe thats an excuse but I promise to make the effort)

Stepping Stones

I know it has been a couple weeks since I have posted anything. We got hit with a nasty snow/ice storm and now it is in the upper 50's. Addy had a good birthday party despite the weather. Emmaleigh spent the beginning of the week home sick. She was begging me to let her go back by wednesday.
We received our picture CD and DVD slide show of Hudson from our photographer. I was so excited to see them but I think I allowed myself to underestimate how hard it would truly be to see them. It has been three months today. I can't believe how quickly time has gone. I am stronger today than I was yesterday and I will be stronger tomorrow than I was today. God has brought many people into my life through this experience, and while I regret that we had to meet under these circumstances I am truly thankful for their friendship. I am also thankful for my family and friends who have been there through everything. I don't know where I would be without them. I Love you all.


Together We Walk the Stepping Stones
by Barb Williams

Come, take my hand, the road is long.
We must travel by stepping stones.
No, you're not alone. I've been there.
Don't fear the darkness. I'll be with you.

We must take one step at a time.
But remember, we may have to stop awhile.
It's a long way to the other side
And there are many obstacles.

We have many stones to cross.
Some are bigger than others.
Shock, denial, and anger to start.
Then comes guilt, despair, and loneliness.

It's a hard road to travel, but it must be done.
It's the only way to reach the other side.

Come, slip your hand in mind.
What? Oh, yes, it's strong.
I've held so many hands like yours.
Yes, mine was once small and weak like yours.

Once, you see, I had to take someone's hand
In order to take the first step.
Oops! You've stumbled. Go ahead and cry.
Don't be ashamed. I understand.

Let's wait here awhile so that you can get your breath.
When you're stronger, we'll go on, one step at a time.
There's no need to hurry.

Say, it's nice to hear you laugh.
Yes, I agree, the memories you shared are good.
Look, we're halfway there now.

I can see the other side.
It looks so warm and sunny.
On, have you noticed? We're nearing the last stone
And you're standing alone.
And look, your hand, you've let go of mine.
We've reached the other side.

But wait, look back, someone is standing there.
They are alone and want to cross the stepping stones.
I'd better go. They need my help.
What? Are you sure?
Why, yes, go ahead. I'll wait.

You know the way.
You've been there.
Yes, I agree. It's your turn, my friend . . .
To help someone else cross the stepping stones.