Friday, December 17, 2010

Slow Down, Breathe, Feel

Smallest Wingless

Dear son, we've been waiting for you

Thrilled beside ourselves that you've arrived

White coats came in, heads held low

Talked for a bit, shuffled outside



We closed the curtains,

Held each other,

And cried

We said hello at the same time that we said goodbye.



And smallest wingless, oh you came to us

Leaving as soon as you'd arrived

But sadness is just love wasted

With no heart to place it inside



We closed the curtains,

Held each other,

And cried

We said hello at the same time that we said goodbye.



We closed the curtains

Held on to one another

And cried

We said hello at the same time that we said goodbye.
Dear son, we've been waiting for you

Thrilled beside ourselves that you've arrived

White coats came in, heads held low

Talked for a bit, shuffled outside



We closed the curtains,

Held each other,

And cried

We said hello at the same time that we said goodbye.



And smallest wingless, oh you came to us

Leaving as soon as you'd arrived

But sadness is just love wasted

With no heart to place it inside



We closed the curtains,

Held each other,

And cried

We said hello at the same time that we said goodbye.



We closed the curtains

Held on to one another

And cried

We said hello at the same time that we said goodbye.

-craig cardiff

Where has time gone? I can't believe it has already been a month. When talking to a friend last night she commented on how busy I was and it wasn't until then that I realized how busy I was keeping myself to avoid feeling anything. It has been easy the last couple weeks with the move, I have had plenty to do, but there were times when I found myself wiping off the same table or counter ten times just because I didn't have anything else to do. My laundry is done and I feel like I am continuously washing dishes. Last night I even started painting the bathroom.
I want to be the one who has it together and I do what I can to make it look that way on the outside even though I may be falling apart on the inside. My heart is hurting but I don't dare let anyone know.
With Christmas only a week away and some moving still to do, I know that I still have plenty to keep me busy but as the days pass and the holidays come and go, I know I will eventually have to slow down, breathe, and let myself feel what is inside, maybe then I will start to feel better on the outside as well.

2 comments:

  1. Sweet Jessica, I'm praying for you. I'm praying that when the time comes, and you do slow down, you remember to turn to Him when it get's too overwhelming. When you start thinking about everything you've experienced, and the hurting is just so great; that you would stop and pray. Pray for comfort and healing; strength and patience. He is the perfect Comforter. He WILL get you through. Amen.

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  2. Oh Jess. That is really beautiful. Keep writing. Keep telling his story and yours. The more you put it out there, the more room there is for healing. I love you.

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